So you might have noticed that I haven’t been blogging as much as I used to or as much as I would like to. This is just a short post telling you what I’m up to and where I have been.
This September I started back at college but instead of doing an adult learning course like I did last year. I am now a full time student doing Performing Arts Level 2. I am loving it! We recently did our first production called First Draft were we performed different short plays, dances and songs. We are now rehearsing for our Immersive Theatre Christmas Production Bah Humbug! I have been on quite a journey to be accepted onto a course I really wanted and love to do and now I’m finally there and doing what I love!
I am also currently doing workshops with Resource Productions to write, create, shoot and edit our own shot films. The project I am working on with fellow cast and crew members will be shown at Pinewood Studios.
I am still doing hair and makeup modelling but would love to try new things to develop my portfolio. In the future I would love to be an actor and a model with an agent.
I am still going to one of my most favourite places in the world the stables. I have now moved class were I am learning all about the detail. I am so excited to see what the future holds!
I am thinking about writing more content on my blog for example reviews as well as beauty and fashion. I am also thinking about having more themes for my Instagram story for example Mental Health Monday’s.
I can’t wait to see what the future holds and have you all come on this journey with me. I’ve got some exciting things happening soon and can’t wait to share it all with you my Defeating Disability Family
We all have those days when we can feel so down, that doing things for our own self care can be at it’s hardest time ever and feel impossible . This is when it is the most important time we focus on ourselves. It’s ok to put yourself first!
Sometimes when I’m having a bad day and I know I need to spend some time just focusing on me, this is when I can find it the hardest and extremely overwhelming to think of things I enjoy doing for myself. My head goes like crazy, my thoughts and emotions are rushing around me so fast I find it hard to know what to do so I just freeze.
So I thought I would share with you some of my favourite things to do when I need to put myself first. As I know when your in the thick of it, it can be very hard to come up with things you could do that just focus on you. Without you feeling guilty because you’re put yourself first!
1. I like to listen to music to help me as I find that lyrics from a song can help me not to feel alone.The lyrics can really help me to describe and express how I am feeling. This helps me to understand my emotions . I like to make playlists so that when I feel down I can quickly get to my music on the go.
2. I like to go onto Pinterest and look at my quotes board to help me feel better. I also enjoy looking for new things to add to my boards. I like using Pinterest as it is very visual and this can help me a lot when I feel down as I don’t have to read through lots of text.
3. When I feel down it can be very hard to think of all the good things that have happened. To help me through the difficult time I like to look at my photos to remind me of some of the amazing memories I have with my family and friends. To make it easier I recommend putting your photos into albums on your phone so that you can access them on the go too.
4. Journaling can be a great way to release your thoughts and emotions onto paper. This helps me to feel less scared about any worries or concerns I may have that I didn’t even know I had before I started to write.
5. Treat yourself to a warm hot drink like a nice warm mug of hot chocolate!
It’s that time again after the summer break we’re we are buying new equipment and stationery ready for our new year of school, Sixth Form, College or maybe even University. I don’t know about you but living with anxiety can be hard to cope with when new chapters are starting. So I thought I would share with you some of my tips with coping with the new academic year when you’re feeling anxious.
If you are doing higher education at college or university chances are you probably had to go and have an interview with a tutor who teaches on the course you want to do to see if you have got a place on your wanted course. When you get an offer this can be very exciting however the day before you start you might have those ever so helpful doubting thoughts wizzing around your head like crazy. To help me to deal with these unhelpful thoughts I like to write down statements of what I am looking forward to doing or learning on the course for example going on trips or having guest speakers come in. By doing this it helps me to focus on the positives, you might want to write them on your phone or write them down in a notebook that you keep beside your bed or maybe on post it notes and put them around your house.
I would also go into your school, college or university before you start to talk about your concerns for example about your anxiety. I have found that if they know before hand they can support you in making sure you are alright and feel comfortable. I also found this useful as I was told about different departments that I could go to if I felt I wanted to go somewhere more quite or to get additional support for example I could talk to a student development officer.
When you start to pack your school bag make sure you’ve got all that you need. But to help with my anxiety I also like to add to my bag things like a stress ball or maybe even an emergency paper bag that I can use if I feel a panic attack coming on. I do this because it helps me to feel more prepared if something was to happened.
On The Day
When you arrive at your school, college or university for the first day it can sometimes hit you when you reach the entrance. This can make me feel very uncomfortable and worried. I think everyone is looking at me and talking about me. To help me with this I like to pick a letter at random and then try and find as many things as I can beginning with that letter.
My last tip would be don’t put pressure on yourself to talk to everyone or to get to know other students. What I like to do because I find it hard to talk to lots of people is give myself a target of talking to one of the other students and if I talk to more that’s great . I feel that if I put too much pressure on myself then my anxiety gets worse. So go at your own pace theirs no right or wrong answer.
I hope some of these will help you too, I would love to know some of your top tips!
Recently I went to Whipsnade Zoo with my support worker for the day. We had a lovely day seeing the animals and the weather was lovely too! I enjoyed seeing some of the animals being fed. I was really happy that I got to see a baby zebra as they are one of my favourite animals.
Last year at college I did an adult learning course in Animal Care. I learnt not only about how to care for a range of different animals but about conservation too. So I found it really interesting going to the zoo and learning more about zoo conservation and seeing it put into practice. If you would like to find out more about conservation at Whipsnade Zoo please visit https://www.zsl.org/conservation .
Going to the zoo gave me a fantastic opportunity to do one of my hobbies which is photography of wild animals. Throughout the day I took many photos and I thought I would share some of my favourite shots.
European Brown Bear
African Dwarf Crocodile and Butterfly
Butterfly in the Butterfly House
Foal and Mother (Grey Zebras)￼
I had a fantastic day at the zoo and can’t wait to go back there soon!
We recently welcomed a new little member to our family. A 4 and a half month old rescue whippet we named Mango. We rescued him from the JR Whippet Rescue. I remember the first photo I got to see of him; I just thought he was so adorable. I was so pleased when I found out that he would be joining the family.
I was so excited for him to join the family I was telling everyone about us getting a new dog. I went to Pets At Home to get him some welcome home toys and more treats.
When the day came to go and collect him from his foster home. I couldn’t believe this day had finally arrived, I would be able to meet him face to face for the first time.
I got together all of his travel essentials for the car journey as it was quite far and he hadn’t been on that longer car journey before. We had his toys, food, water and blanket all in the car ready.
When we arrived and I first saw this little face starring back with these big paws and ears that looked a bit big for his face I knew he was the dog I wanted. His eyes were beautiful a mix of blue,green and brown.
We had some fun playing with his toys and saying hello at the same time. Whilst with his foster home he lived with other dogs so we got to meet them too. The journey back was slow but he was such a good boy.
Now Mango has settled down into our family and our routine. He shares the house with a cat who he wants to play with but the cat couldn’t care less. He loves exploring and saying hello to everyone and everything he meets. He especially likes chasing the butterflies in the garden and also playing with ice cubes on a hot day. He loves to play football and bring you sticks he has found whilst exploring from his adventures.
I am so excited to see him grow and all the amazing memories we will make and of course the adventures. I know Ziggy our previous dog who died earlier this year would be pleased to be his big brother.
If you are thinking or looking for a dog to join your family. I highly recommend whippets after all Ziggy gave us so much love we decided not to get a different breed!
Please visit https://whippetrescue.org.uk to maybe find your new family member. There are so many rescue dogs out there just wanting and waiting to fill your heart with love!
In July I went on holiday with my family on a cruise to Norway, Iceland and Ireland. I had a fantastic time and had so many interesting and incredible photography opportunities throughout the holiday. From the stunning waterfalls to the glaciers and the wildlife.
As some of you may know photography has become not just a hobby for me but has helped me with my on going mental health recovery journey. Photography helps me to ground myself in the hear and now. I also use my photography as a resource for when I am feeling low. Looking back at some wonderful memories that make me smile!
I thought I would share with you some of my photography snaps from my holiday this year.
I had an amazing time with my Shed family performing CapeAbility for the last time on this years Shed Tour. It’s been a crazy adventure full of fun and laughter. We have performed the show at local venues, Brighton Open Air Theatre and finally at this years Edinburgh Fringe.
It feels really strange knowing now that we are not performing CapeAbility again. I really enjoyed playing my character Flint who’s superpower is all about encouraging others. I loved exploring the themes of friendship throughout the production and being able to use my own experiences throughout the production as well as being able to express my feelings.
I loved performing the songs in the production. I loved the messages we were trying to show throughout the production by using lyrics, facial expressions and sign language.
I really enjoyed making the audience feel more involved in the show compared to other shows I have done with different companies.
All in all it has been incredible and I can’t wait until our next Tour in 2021!
The night before results day I still remember like it was yesterday. My thoughts in my head racing around at a hundred miles an hour.
Did I put my name on the paper? Did I do the right level paper? Did I answer the right questions? Did I read the questions correctly? What if I don’t get the grades?
With all these thoughts and emotions running wild whilst I was lying in my bed. My heart began to race and I knew I was going into a panic attack. So I tried to do my visualisation techniques I had learnt in therapy.
Throughout my time at school I had never been one of the high achieving students in my year. I found writing hard not only because I found spelling tricky but also making sure my writing was going in a straight line. I did a lot of practicing with writing in my OT sessions. It took me longer to write things down than my peers. I found maths extremely difficult I saw it in a way that not many other people did, I found it so confusing.
Looking back now doing all that revision, opening the first pages of that exam paper, then thinking after the exam if I would pass or not and just hoping I would. This time in my life was so stressful I was with CAMHS and being diagnosed with anxiety and depression let alone the fact I was getting bullied at school the minute got in through the school gates.
That night lying awake in my bed just wanting to know my grades the following day. Counting down the time when I would go to school for the last time pick up an envelope and see these grades staring back at me. I believed that my results had the power to not only change my whole life but dictate it too!
However my family and close friends reminded me that I was more than just some letters on a piece of paper. All those things exams don’t test like the fact I want to help others or that my strengths were outside the school grounds like horse riding. My mum said to me we don’t just need doctors or lawyers everyone has a special skill they can offer to the world however big or small they may seem.
I know it’s terrifying and scary and you may feel like these grades will plan out your whole life. Doing all those practice tests then having to mark them to see if you would have passed an old exam paper. Your grades do not own you and do not have the power to stop you being who you are!
You’re going to be OK . Follow your heart and follow your dreams show the world who you really are because we are all worth more than some letters and numbers on a piece of paper and all have special skills to offer the world!
Back in March earlier this year I was invited to an workshop all about The Art of Vlogging in London. The workshop was ran by the Media Trust I was invited to the workshop by Riding for the Disabled as everyone attending this workshop was involved in the RDA in some way. During the day we made our own 1 minute video which we then could enter into a competition to become an semi finalist in this years VlogStar Competition.
Last week I had the amazing opportunity to attended the VlogStar Challenge 2019 as a semi finalist. I was chosen to be one of the very lucky 150 semi finalist of this years VlogStar which had over 1,500 participants. I attended a day of workshops at YouTube’s offices inside Google HQ. ( To find out more about The VlogStar Challenge visit https://www.vlogstarchallenge.com)
During the day we had lots of different workshops lead by different people who worked for YouTube. During the day I learnt a lot we were given workshops in lots of different areas of how to make videos as well as how to connect yourselves with your viewers and how to make them feel as part of your YouTube community/ family.
I found the day very inspiring I came up with a few more video ideas for my channel as well as seeing how YouTube can be used as a positive platform to share your experiences and life stories about life. It was was fantastic to be around other young creatives who are using their voices on the internet to make positive changes through vlogging and making video content.
One of the workshops was called #iamremarkable during this workshop we had to think about what makes us remarkable however big the reason was. I really enjoyed doing this as it helped me to remember how I have got past obstacles I have faced and it didn’t matter how big or small it was. We then had the opportunity to share what made us remarkable if we wanted. ( To find out more about #iamremarkable visit https://iamremarkable.withgoogle.com)
Towards the end of the day we got to have Q&A panel with Grace Victory, Lucy Moon, London Hacks, Abraham and hosted by Ria Hebden. It was great to ask them our questions and to get their advice and top tips as well as hearing all about their unique YouTube journeys!
All in all an amazing day full of unique stories waiting to be let out in video content.